Honestly, Sir

Sach bolun sir:
last 2 rides of mine, I canceled.
Why sir? Because of their
names sir. Who wants a Rahim or Abdul
in my (sweet, coying, paan-smelling,
second-hand smoke-filled) Uber?

Especially now sir? Sir patha hai
kya hei yeh Nagrika bill? Why are these
buggers protesting sir? Don’t they have
any other job? Maybe they don’t, right sir?
Biryani every day (in blizzard cold and 
between angry guns) must be good na sir?
These topiwallahs must be taught 
a lesson, sir. (Yes, of course, a lesson. 
In history, and satyagraha).

If they have so much problem, they should 
Go to Pakistan, no? Hamara desh aake
hamse protest? Kya hai sir yeh?
Why are they even protesting? Will they
lose their citizenship now?
I don’t understand sir. Do you?

Let me tell you sir, It was a relief, to get 
Your name finally. Bhagwan ki nam hai na.
(Lady luck pats my back for
having the right parents)
Us Hindujan should stick together sir.
Woh chodo sir. Sunday evening n all. 
Off to CP & party eh? (& an unsaid wink).

I spent some time in thought before 
I picked up my phone.
Driver I said, I just changed my location.
Drop me at Shaheen Bagh instead.

Published by vishnugopal

Vishnu Gopal is an Anime fanatic, World of Warcraft player, SciFi nut, hopeless romantic & an engineer at Lucideus.

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  1. May be an opportunity here for Uber to build an ML algorithm to predict their driver and customer biases based on their ride selection history..

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